KYNews Top Stories of 2007
Richmond buries the hatchet with Stephens, Singleton
In what was described as a move toward reconciliation, the city of Richmond invited former police chiefs Bob Stephens and Wanda Singleton to be the first riders down the big slide of the Richmond Aquatic Facility. After the police department’s former commanding officers took the steep plunge, city officials noted the slide promises to be even more thrilling once the pool is actually filled with water.
Outraged over increased Berea taxes, Fields denounces self
Calling his actions an affront to the citizens of Berea, Councilman Truman Fields sharply denounced himself after learning he voted to raise property taxes in the city. In an impassioned press conference at City Hall, Fields objected to the tax hike and adamantly vowed to withhold an endorsement of himself for the 2008 council race.
Clark arrested for protest
In what turned out to be the most widely misinterpreted story of 2007, activists revealed that Judge Executive Kent Clark’s arrest in Russell County actually stemmed from an act of civil disobedience, not consuming alcohol in public. A spokesperson for the hitherto unknown advocacy group, Save the Beer, said Clark’s drinking of a fermented adult beverage in Russell County, despite a police officer’s orders to pour the beer out, was actually an act to demonstrate his solidarity with millions of financially disadvantaged, beer-loving brethren around the world who must go to bed thirsty every night.
City residents militantly apathetic about naming of Berea park
The city’s campaign to conduct a newspaper poll to name the new park at the corner of Chestnut St. and Boone St. garnered a decidedly different kind of participation than expected. A total of 136 voters chose Chestnut Street Park, 23 opted for Founder’s Plaza, and just seven voted for Peoples Plaza. But participation among those who selected none of the names was highest, as several people who submitted paper ballots expressed dissenting opinions. The final tally for comments written to city officials was as follows:
“Shove it” (or some angry variation thereof) - 327 votes
“Get bent” - 147
Obscene drawings - 24
"When are we going to get a Steak and Shake?" - 4
"John G. Fee Park" – 2
Kay Jones turned to pillar of salt following alcohol vote
In what many described as a terrifying demonstration of the wrath of God, Richmond City Commissioner Kay Jones was struck by a bolt of lightning and turned into a pillar of salt just moments after voting to allow the sale of alcohol in city limits on Sunday. Shocked city officials paid tribute to Jones as a person of principle. The meeting was then adjourned to a local Mexican restaurant where customers get two margaritas for the price of one if they bring their own salt.
Wildlife encroaches on city because of drought
Due to an especially dry year, wild animals from surrounding forests and fields encroached on residential areas of Berea in search of water and food. Officials had set up contingency plans to capture the wide assortment of deer, raccoon, fox, and even bear that had descended upon the city. But that plan was scrapped when the animals left Berea on their own volition because there is nothing to do in the city at night.
Sutter’s Mill to be preserved as a monument to decaying buildings
Instead of expanding the Richmond Post Office parking lot by tearing down Sutter’s Mill night club, officials have announced the dilapidated structure will be preserved as a tribute to Kentucky’s decaying buildings. “We feel this is an important element in the effort to devitalize Richmond’s downtown shopping district,” a federal postal official said. Postal authorities also expressed hope that preserving the unsightly structure would help distract customers from the facility’s inconvenient location and lack of parking.
Most inmates prefer not to be in jail – a KYNews investigative report
A vast majority of those arrested do not like to be in the Madison County Detention Center. That was the finding of an exclusive investigative report by KYNews.org. In the poll, 92 percent of inmates said being incarcerated ‘sucks.’ Five percent were still undecided, and three percent cursed the questioner, but then asked if he could spare any ‘smokes.’
Richmond Police Department implements foul-language policy
In an effort to avoid offending anyone while police are in engaged in potentially life-threatening situations, the Richmond Police Department announced its zero-tolerance policy for foul language. For example, instead of proclaiming, “Someone is going to get skull****ed” officers are required to employ more even-tempered language, such as:
“Did you see how that suspect took off when I approached his vehicle? What a card! Though I can appreciate his mischievous sense of humor, I have concern for his safety and that of his fellow citizens.”
Or:
“That gentleman is driving most irresponsibly. I hope we can soon persuade him to stop in the name of the law.”
City officials said officers who fail to comply with the policy will be subject to a serious skull****ing.
In what was described as a move toward reconciliation, the city of Richmond invited former police chiefs Bob Stephens and Wanda Singleton to be the first riders down the big slide of the Richmond Aquatic Facility. After the police department’s former commanding officers took the steep plunge, city officials noted the slide promises to be even more thrilling once the pool is actually filled with water.
Outraged over increased Berea taxes, Fields denounces self
Calling his actions an affront to the citizens of Berea, Councilman Truman Fields sharply denounced himself after learning he voted to raise property taxes in the city. In an impassioned press conference at City Hall, Fields objected to the tax hike and adamantly vowed to withhold an endorsement of himself for the 2008 council race.
Clark arrested for protest
In what turned out to be the most widely misinterpreted story of 2007, activists revealed that Judge Executive Kent Clark’s arrest in Russell County actually stemmed from an act of civil disobedience, not consuming alcohol in public. A spokesperson for the hitherto unknown advocacy group, Save the Beer, said Clark’s drinking of a fermented adult beverage in Russell County, despite a police officer’s orders to pour the beer out, was actually an act to demonstrate his solidarity with millions of financially disadvantaged, beer-loving brethren around the world who must go to bed thirsty every night.
City residents militantly apathetic about naming of Berea park
The city’s campaign to conduct a newspaper poll to name the new park at the corner of Chestnut St. and Boone St. garnered a decidedly different kind of participation than expected. A total of 136 voters chose Chestnut Street Park, 23 opted for Founder’s Plaza, and just seven voted for Peoples Plaza. But participation among those who selected none of the names was highest, as several people who submitted paper ballots expressed dissenting opinions. The final tally for comments written to city officials was as follows:
“Shove it” (or some angry variation thereof) - 327 votes
“Get bent” - 147
Obscene drawings - 24
"When are we going to get a Steak and Shake?" - 4
"John G. Fee Park" – 2
Kay Jones turned to pillar of salt following alcohol vote
In what many described as a terrifying demonstration of the wrath of God, Richmond City Commissioner Kay Jones was struck by a bolt of lightning and turned into a pillar of salt just moments after voting to allow the sale of alcohol in city limits on Sunday. Shocked city officials paid tribute to Jones as a person of principle. The meeting was then adjourned to a local Mexican restaurant where customers get two margaritas for the price of one if they bring their own salt.
Wildlife encroaches on city because of drought
Due to an especially dry year, wild animals from surrounding forests and fields encroached on residential areas of Berea in search of water and food. Officials had set up contingency plans to capture the wide assortment of deer, raccoon, fox, and even bear that had descended upon the city. But that plan was scrapped when the animals left Berea on their own volition because there is nothing to do in the city at night.
Sutter’s Mill to be preserved as a monument to decaying buildings
Instead of expanding the Richmond Post Office parking lot by tearing down Sutter’s Mill night club, officials have announced the dilapidated structure will be preserved as a tribute to Kentucky’s decaying buildings. “We feel this is an important element in the effort to devitalize Richmond’s downtown shopping district,” a federal postal official said. Postal authorities also expressed hope that preserving the unsightly structure would help distract customers from the facility’s inconvenient location and lack of parking.
Most inmates prefer not to be in jail – a KYNews investigative report
A vast majority of those arrested do not like to be in the Madison County Detention Center. That was the finding of an exclusive investigative report by KYNews.org. In the poll, 92 percent of inmates said being incarcerated ‘sucks.’ Five percent were still undecided, and three percent cursed the questioner, but then asked if he could spare any ‘smokes.’
Richmond Police Department implements foul-language policy
In an effort to avoid offending anyone while police are in engaged in potentially life-threatening situations, the Richmond Police Department announced its zero-tolerance policy for foul language. For example, instead of proclaiming, “Someone is going to get skull****ed” officers are required to employ more even-tempered language, such as:
“Did you see how that suspect took off when I approached his vehicle? What a card! Though I can appreciate his mischievous sense of humor, I have concern for his safety and that of his fellow citizens.”
Or:
“That gentleman is driving most irresponsibly. I hope we can soon persuade him to stop in the name of the law.”
City officials said officers who fail to comply with the policy will be subject to a serious skull****ing.