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What If Obama Had Chopped Down the Cherry Tree?

10.30.12 07:33 AM – Andy McDonald
We’re all familiar with the cherished anecdote concerning George Washington, who, in his youth, was said to have chopped down his father’s cherry tree, then confessed his crime.

In the aftermath of recent international events, one wonders how President Obama would have responded had he been in the same situation. Would he have been as forthcoming as the father of our country?

"Barack, who chopped down my cherry tree?

"Information is still coming in about this unauthorized pruning. My first priority is to try to gather as much intelligence as possible."

"It’s been hacked to pieces! Did you chop down my cherry tree, son?"

"Look, no one wants to get to the bottom of this arboreal tragedy more than I do. That’s why I've taken immediate steps to insure this never, ever happens again."

"Barack, it seems like you’re not being straight with me. Did you or did you not chop down my cherry tree?"

Young Barack cocks his head and smiles broadly in an expression suggesting he's answered the question so many times, BUT THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!

"Look, I think if you review my record, you’ll find that I’ve always been a friend to cherry trees. The American people know me, and they know that when I say I’m going to protect cherry trees, they can take that to the bank."

"I’m starting to lose my patience, Barack. Did you chop down my cherry tree?!"

"How dare you! How dare you callously exploit the death of this beloved tree to question my integrity! I’m deeply offended, Dad."

"This is your last chance: WHO CUT DOWN MY CHERRY TREE?"

"That is certainly a question that needs to be answered. But until my investigation is complete, that specific information is classified."

"When will you give me an answer?"

"December, probably. Certainly not before you and Mom give me my Christmas presents."

"GIVE ME THE HATCHET AND GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

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