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Media Coverage of Rand Paul’s Behavior

08.12.10 03:03 AM – Andy McDonald
Ripped from the headlines:


GQ magazine published a report quoting an anonymous woman who claimed that Rand Paul came to her house, blindfolded her, and tied her up before forcing her to take drugs. GQ said the alleged incident occurred while Paul was in college.


The unnamed woman told the Washington Post that she wasn’t kidnapped by Paul, wasn’t forced to take drugs, and that the media blew the incident out of proportion. WKYT in Lexington stated it would have covered the woman’s recanting of the story but for the fact that correspondents were busy with their exclusive coverage of the preview of the prelude to the countdown to the World Equestrian Games.


The Huffington Post released a report by an unnamed former acquaintance of Paul’s stating that Paul not only participated in the systematic mutilation of amphibians, but that he was disturbingly skilled at the practice. Leading Democrats demanded an explanation from Paul.


Rand Paul’s high school biology teacher confirmed the Kentucky Republican earned an “A” on his frog dissection assignment in his sophomore science class. In response, a spokesman for Democrat Jack Conway stated, “I think we can speak for most Kentuckians when we say 'Ewww Gross!'” The Kentucky Attorney General's Office then announced the formation of a Frog Protection Task Force, but insisted the move was not politically motivated.


CNN reported allegations that Rand Paul invited underage females to his home and served them beer. The cable network further called on Paul to “do the right thing, come clean, then die with festering boils.”


Romona Isaacs and Sheila Combs confirmed to the Washington Post that Paul did invite them to his home in 1975 on the occasion of his 12th birthday party. Party goers were served frosty mugs of A&W Root beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Isaacs and Combs, who at the time were 11 and 10 years of age, confided the event was “kind of lame” because the magician showed up an hour late. A spokesman at CNN stood by the network’s story claiming, “Beer is beer, damn it. And they were underage.”


A passing acquaintance of an unnamed hairdresser of a woman who once lived down the street from Rand Paul claimed she heard the Republican dressed in tights one October night, prowling the neighborhood while making threats and demands of local residents, MSNBC reported.


Rand Paul admitted the story was true after MSNBC confronted him with photographic evidence. Paul was shown wearing a Batman costume on Halloween night, 1969. Though he claimed he couldn’t recall the details because he was only six at the time, Paul conceded that he likely uttered the phrase “Trick or Treat” several times during the night, but that he intended the statement as neither a threat nor a demand. MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow called on the Republican Party to lock Paul in a laughingstock and pillory him with a pungent assortment of rotten eggs, fruits and vegetables.


The Herald Leader reported that public opinion had turned sharply against Rand Paul, indicating a massive groundswell of support for Rand’s opponent, according to their data. An accompanying editorial further called on Paul to “show some respect for the democratic process” by allowing himself to be strapped to a gurney and pushed into a live volcano.


After further researching the basis of the Herald Leader story, Paul campaign spokesman David Adams stated unequivocally that the information used in the article was unreliable. Adams said the source turned out to be graffiti scrawled on a Fancy Farm portable toilet, which simply stated: “Rand Sucks Big Time.” Adams called the citation unfair and lacking in journalistic integrity.


The Herald Leader followed up with a strident editorial accusing Paul staffers of stalking the state’s portable toilets as part of a nefarious plot to revoke the First Amendment.


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